18 Months Later

I feel great. I haven't had a headache in a long time. I have episodes of dizziness but nothing I can't handle (I just hang on tight when they happen). Some things I've just gotten used to and every once in a while something reminds me that I'm not who I once was. Yesterday I attended the funeral of a co-worker's baby. I was surrounded by sobbing people and I sat stiff as a board without a tear stinging my eye. I've just become so used to not feeling anything that I forget what it's like until I'm around others who do. I've had a few times where I have been moved, but I could count them on one hand. I do laugh, but I really don't get excited and not a true since of sadness. I rely on the memory of my feelings more than anything. It's very hard to explain how weird it is to feel empty...