Month Six & Seven (Light at the End of the Tunnel?)

During June and July my physical problems began to level out a little. The fatigue was still there but much better. I still had headaches, but I began to notice that every few days I wouldn't have one. Any reprieve was welcome. As the physical aspects of the injury began to fade, the emotional aspects became more clear. It was around this time that I began to notice that I had been withdrawing from my social network. The withdrawing had been going on for some time, but I wasn't really conscious of it. I became more aware that my verbal filter was impaired causing me to say things before they were thoroughly thought out. Again, this was not a new problem, but it became more defined because I wasn't struggling so much with my physical issues. My husband had been a rock of support, but the strain was beginning to show on him as well.One evening he told me that he just wanted his old wife back and that he was afraid the fall had taken away the part that made us soul mates. This broke my heart! I couldn't stand to see him continue to suffer and yes, the feelings of guilt were overwhelming. I felt guilty for not being able to heal myself. I felt personally responsible for the burden he was under. In July I began seeing a Certified Counselor who had training with TBI therapy and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I could no long deny, nor laugh away what had happened and it was imperative that I understand what was happening and to cope with it the best way possible for the sake of my marriage and my family.I had reached what some call the "Uneasy Acceptance" of my recovery. The Counselor was able to explain to me things the neurologist had not taken the time to explain. She talked me through the mine fields of the injury to a place of healing and understanding. Seeing a Counselor was one of the best things that I did. I could talk open and honestly with her about every aspect of the injury without fear of judgment. Since she wasn't familiar with my past, she made no attempt to pull from my past to explain my present. She just took me where I was and began walking me through the process of understanding what was going on. Her neutrality was a healing ointment to my wounded heart that was losing it's way in a sea of the familiar faces. Familiar faces who although they loved me, had no understanding of what was happening, nor how to help me.

June & July Sweetp

http://sweetlife4me-jp.blogspot.com/2010/06/part-of-me.html

http://sweetlife4me-jp.blogspot.com/2010/06/stained-glass.html

http://sweetlife4me-jp.blogspot.com/2010/07/never.html