Month Five

The month of May rolled through with little to no change in my physical or emotional well being. I continued to take short naps at lunch in order to make it through the rest of the work day. My stamina may have increased just a tad. I could stay up past 5:30 in the evening more often although 8:00 p.m. was pretty much my limit. I seldom did anything after work that I didn't have to do. We became very selective of the events we attended on the weekends, so that I wouldn't be so fatigued during the week. Without my husbands knowledge I would decline invitations our friends would extend, because I simply did not want to be around anyone. When he found out that I had declined a couple of invitations he as shocked. It was so out of character for me to miss a social event or an opportunity to enjoy my friends. This self isolation caused him additional concern as did my tendency to just bluntly say whatever was on my mind. I have always been known as a pretty blunt person, but I was diplomatically blunt, not brutally blunt. I also had little tolerance for offenses, it didn't take much for someone to royally tick me off. Low tolerance and unfiltered bluntness is a very lethal combination. I made another appointment to see my Neurologist at the end of May to run some of these new traits by him as well as the unrelenting fatigue. I feared that I was losing my mind. My emotions and physical abilities seemed so unstable from day to day, I needed to know if this was normal. My husband and I sat in his office and I told him I needed him to tell me if I was losing my mind. I described how things fluctuated daily. I explained how I would feel great and then all the sudden practically collapse from fatigue. He was an elderly gentleman and a extremely good listener especially by today's standards as doctors are concerned. He listened to my description and than said the sweetest thing... "First of all let me assure you, you are not crazy." I could have kissed his feet! Everything I was experiencing was typical for my injury... That was the good news. The bad news was, full recovery could still take a year or so longer. I left the appointment feeling better knowing that my abnormal was perfectly normal. At some point you have to hold on to the positives, regardless of how tiny they are, with both hands, and continue on.http://sweetlife4me-jp.blogspot.com/2010/06/part-of-me.html